Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
so much tequila, so little girl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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