I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize