We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
