What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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