Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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