If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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