On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
