Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
false alarm, still single
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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