idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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