she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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