it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
