it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i now understand why vodka
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
