I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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