my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
