My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
