He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
do herpes really smell.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
