i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize