apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
