Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
