I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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