Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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