My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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