We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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