I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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