i don't plan on having that self control this summer
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
