Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
