alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
