Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
