it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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