I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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