Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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