I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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