So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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