dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
