just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
