i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
