I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
