My room smells like vodka and shame
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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