i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this beer tastes like vomit already
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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