Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
