lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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