oh god the rape fog is back!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
