So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
