Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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