can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
