yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
