I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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