Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
40s are totally the cure
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize