dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize