Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
