at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
