So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize