He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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