He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
