Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
