dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
