Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
