How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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