Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize