Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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