How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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