New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were trust falling into bushes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
