Plan B is the new Plan A
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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