I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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