Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize