I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
