I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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